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Destiny Cries by Low Kay Hwa
written on Thursday, October 05, 2006 @ 2:22:00 PM ✈
Prologue: I am ready to die now, but i'm only eighteen this year.There are over 6 billion people in this world;my death is unlikely to stir up the world. There are over hundreds of people dying everydae. whu cares abt my death? whu shall mourn over me?whu shall miss me? From the rooftop,i gaze at the depths below. I have been fortunate to live in the world for eighteen years. At least i've experienced the full spectrum of happiness and the misery by now. At least, i have not lived in vain. At least, i have experienced the kind of love that most people could only hope for. TRUE LOVE There are many people whu do not even live to see all that the buatiful world has to offer. There are people whu do not even have the chance to experience the beauty of love. There are many more whu deserve more sympathy than i do. Do they shed their tears in silence? Do they bury their sorrows deep within their heats? I want to tell the world about my misery because i am tired of hiding the depression in my soul. The sun is brightening up the heavens. after todae, i will become one of the stars above. I will look down at the world where i used to live in. Once i receive the prayer from my girl, i will guide her to the right decision, and wish her the best that life has offer. After that, i will transform into a shooting star and scale the heights of heaven. That is, when i am dead. Now, once in a while,i steal a peek at the door behind me. Noone has stepped up to this roof. no one bothers my decision? I cannot be stopped. I have to do what needs to be done. Images invade my mind,pounding aganist my temples. They are memories: images of my life. Desstiny, my ma, my loved ones...... they suddenly seem so near to me,yet strangely so far away... I cannot reach out to them any more. I will jump off the building; i will die; i will be shattered into pieces... But once i die, my memories will be resurrected; they will merge to form the story of my life. This is my story: A story that is made up of my innermost feelings. words cannot fully narrate the entire tale. Put yourself in my shoes. You have to feel it. But be forewarned: i hold no responsibility for your reactions towards the end. My advice for you is to stop reading if you are too hardened. this story for Destiny. I know her as the girl searching for true love... This is the ending to a tale that destiny can never control. This is a tale that can only be controlled by the currents of true love. i will leave now, with the cries of destiny.... CHAPTER 1 My name is ALan Nah Ming Wen. I was Born on 20th Augest 1985.In a few months' time, i will be eighteen, an age that i once looked forward to. How is my life? That depends on your point of view. If you compare me with a person who has not been emotionally and spiritually fulfilled, then my life cannot be more perfect. My point of view? Frankly, until i voice it out now, i have never thought of that question. So i do not have much of an idea. Like any other teenagers, i ave a dream. It sounds out of reach, but i tell myself that it is not impossible. I wish that one dae i could be a hero, someone who would save the world. Sounds immature? But, i believe that the best dreams usually spring from passion. I once wondered if this silly dream of mine will fade off, but oddly, it grew more intense over time. I was brought up single-handedly by my Ma. For the longest time , i did not know what happened to my Pa.My Ma has always told me that he died in a car accident when i was 10. I left it at that. I did not bring up the issue ever again, for fear that it might upsey my Ma. Bad things usually collide full force in series. A few years after my Pa's demise, my Ma began to encounter serious problems with her kidneys. The doctors told us that it was kidney failure. After her first operation, myMa was prescribed with oral medication. But over time, her condition visibly dialysis three times per week. My Ma would cry silently in her room everydae since then.As always,whenever i open the door, my ma would try to wipe away her tears. But her red eyes always gives her way. I have always yearned to lessen her pain.Since i was 12, i have wanted to quit school to work fulltime.But she turned livd at my suggestion and told me that she would never allow that to happen. and so life went on like before. We tried our best to skimp and save, spending our money mainly on food. i rejected every social invitation from my friends because i knew that involved too much money. Of course, i came up with a horde of excuses: i need to stay home to finish my homework, my exams are coming, my Ma grounded me... Any excuse that you can think of, i would have used it before. At 16, i secretly started work as a part-time waiter in a restaurant. I secretly started work as apart-time waiter in a restaurant. i only told Ah Ma much later. She was unhappy but had to accept it. Around that time, Imade it into Arts Stream at Boon Lay Junior College. Thus, it became an after-school rountine to rush to work,neglectingmy friends and homework. What does every teenager do with their hard-earned money? They probably go clubbing, buy the most "in" fashion, smoke and drink.What about me? I buy rice, soy sauce, beansprouts, theoccasional can of luncheon meat, and settle the household bills.... Life has always been tough. Every minute i would ponder over what might happen next, because i never have enough money for three decent meals. I did apply for bursary, but was rejected due to my poor grades. How can one produce good results when he is studying full-time and working close to full-time as well? Somehow,every life has a turning point. I have always expected my turning point to appear when i started work in the executive line. I considered that as a way out of my financial difficulties. I never expected my turning point to come when i was only seventeen, just one year before the legal age. That day, as with any other, the sun showed no mercy.The almighty orb was attacking the earth with its all -reaching beams. the temperature had reached a frenzy whereby my sweat glands were working on overdrive. Lessons ended late that day.To save time, i changed into my outside clothes in school loo. It was just my luck to have packed along an all-black set from top to toe.It would be a forty-five minutes walk to get to the Nepalideli.Walking has always been my preferred way of transportation, mainly because it is free of charge. To me,that is good exercise to keep myself fit. Like any other dae, I had to pass through Boon Lay Square, the popular shopping complex to recharge myself. The cool air-conditionaed complex welcome me. It was a good, free shelter from the glaring sun. It has been a long time since i did some serious window -shopping.There were so many things that i wanted to buy: A watch,a new pair of jeans,a new handphone....but at the back of mind, i knew that they would never be mine. If i could not even afford dinner for tomorrow, what good was a new pair of jeans? Just then, my handphone rang. It was acall from the Nepalese restaurant where i worked at. they said that i was not needed that day since they had a special last-minute function and needed banquet workers only. Naturally,I volunteered for it.Unfortunately, i was rejected because i was untrained. With a dazed mind, fuming over all the spare time i sunddunly had, ientered the lift. Within seconds, Iwas at the highest floor. I did not realise that until i stepped out. Bemused, imade my way to the roof, to find some respite. Amazingly, the clouds had devoured the sun by then. i smiled, thinkingthat luck mightjust be on my side.I surveyed the roof. All i saw were pipes running across the entire area, coughing up exhaust fumes. THere was nothing exciting up here. Just as i was about to settle for a quiet spot, i caught sight of a figure at the far end. It seemed to be a girl.upon closer scrutiny,i could tell that she was wearing an all-black ensemble just like me. She was wearing a tight top matched with figure-hugging pants.Her long black hair was staging awild dance in the wind. Curiosity piqued,i inspected her every movement,listening to every sound that came from her direction.I swore that i herad a soft sobbing earlier on. toooooo be continued..................... 0 comment[s] | back to top |